June 19th was the last day of an incredible fight that Melanie had taken on that started in April. We saw her at an event and she was complaining of stomach pains. It concerned us because Mel has a super high tolerance of pain. We know, because she really let us have it at times. Her compassion and love for us was what we had always used as inspiration to keep doing what we do. It was fuel for our fire, it was the wind that filled our sails and it was the strength that kept us moving in times of seeing nothing happening for us at all.
Dennis, her husband, brought her to the Emergency Room because she couldn’t take anymore. And within seven days, we had seen Mel deteriorate so quickly that she was put on life support just days before Mother’s Day. One troubling and difficult night, we were called in because the doctor’s thought that she wouldn’t make it. In an ICU room, where usually two people are allowed, there were about twenty of us wishing and praying for her to somehow pull through and live to fight another day. I don’t know if it was her, or God, or us, or a combinations of everything, but she fought on and eventually got well enough to come off of life support and begin recovery. Times were still difficult, drugs were many, thought processes weren’t coherent, but we had Mel back and she was on her way to getting out of bed and making her way back home.
She was well enough to leave ICU and the hospital to go to a rehab facility. About a week in, Melanie was again rushed to the hospital because of complications and work began on her again for recovery number two.
We saw progress, she was getting better, she was becoming coherent. She yelled at Dennis and she yelled at me. Mel was back! This was great news. We were happy to hear her voice and see her smile, and above all, the animated way she would roll her eyes whenever we would say something foolish. The best part, Dennis saying something and then Melanie flipping him off. If we only could have gotten a picture of that!
A second rehab facility was ready for her and we all went with open arms and hearts to help her again on the road to recovery. This place was nice. It had good food, the staff was excellent and knew how to handle Mel when she wasn’t “in the mood” to do any of the therapy. They got her sitting up, moving, balancing on the edge of the bed and even sitting in a chair. It was like winning the Gold Medal at the Olympics for all of us to see this.
On a visit, as we walked in, we saw that she was tired, but she had just gotten back from PT and were told that she had ridden a bike. Holy crap! How freaking awesome was that? Pedaling her way to the finish line. She was ready to be out of the hospital and get home.
Later that night, she had chest x-rays taken and they noticed that there was fluid in one of her lungs. Since this facility didn’t have the means to do this procedure, she was once again taken to a hospital. From the time that chest x-ray was taken, to the time they took another one in the ER, her lung had filled with fluid. Emergency procedures were done to relieve this, but we didn’t know that this was the beginning of the end. She crashed as they were working on her. The medical staff, to their amazing credit and quick thinking, got her stabilized. Everything was looking so good, that they had time to take a quick bite after hours of work on her. During that time though, Mel called for Dennis twice, and those would be the last words that anyone would hear from her.
The cancer that was inside of her was taking hold and not letting go. It was getting aggressive and working its way through her body at such an alarming rate that it was attacking her whole being. The scourge of cancer. The finality of it. The beast that it is. We only wish that we could grab a hold of it and kick it's ass. Knock it back to where it came from and never see it again.
This time Mel wasn’t so lucky. There wasn’t much more fight in her. She tried though. Tried as hard as her body would let her. She wasn’t willing to go and she definitely wasn’t ready to take her last breath. We told her she could be with the Lord, but she stared right back and shook her head no. She wanted to stay and fight on.
A second time she had to go on life support. One cannot imagine what it looks like unless you have been through it already and have seen it with your own eyes. The machines, the beeping, the background noise. All of it invading your subconscious and the only time you wouldn’t hear it, was when you were praying for her or speaking to her and letting her know how much you cared and loved her.
Melanie was still strong though. She fought until her family was able to make it to town and be with her.
We were there when she was taken off of life support. We were there when she took her last breath. We were there to witness the miracle of one woman taking on the fight of a lifetime.
If we could all only learn from her. If we could all only take a look at our lives everyday and decide what is important and what isn’t important. What fight is worth fighting for and what ones we should just simply give up and move away from. Does it really matter to always be right, or is it better to be happy? Decide what battle is important and let the other ones go. Our hangups, our arguments, our jealousies, our petty selfish thoughts about how we don’t have what we want goes against what life is all about. Right? We should enjoy life and enjoy those that are in it. We can have differences, but as adults, we are intelligent enough to know that compromise is a key to happiness and maturity. It works. It’s been proven and in the end, we are all better for it.
What Mel has taught me is invaluable. Strength, courage, the desire to live life to its fullest. Give a hug, accept a hug. Be happy. Smile and laugh whenever you want. Let the small things go. Kiss someone you care for on the cheek or forehead and tell them “I love you and appreciate you.” You should, because one day, you will never ever be able to do it again.